Promises to my children to be

Five promises to my daughter if be

I will pass on to you the valuable of trust and teach you to treat men equally

I will give you the best education

I will give you the freedom of choosing your career

I will not sell you with jewels and dowry. I shall ensure you get a groom’s family who are willing to share the wedding expense and those who do not weigh you for your materials. In marriage market, I will not bid on but make sure that your preferences and voices are heard

After marriage, I will expect you to take care of me just like any other kid should take care of their parents and support you financially and emotionally whenever you are in need.

Five promises to my son if be

I will pass on to you the valuable of trust and teach you to treat a woman respectfully and equally

I will give you the best education

I will not burden you to make quick bucks but guide you to succeed in the career you wish.

I will not ‘buy’ your wife with her dowry but forbid her from bringing jewels. I will treat her equally with you and share the marriage cost symmetrically.

After marriage, I will give you the independence to be nuclear and love my dil as my own child.

There Might be a Predator Among You

While most media address violence against women faced in the outside, the harassment from within the household goes unnoticed. The perpetrator is mostly from a well-known circle to the victim and hence she fears to report. In some cases, the family and friends refuse to believe that someone they know can be a sexual molester.

To all those who still don’t believe, such things exist, marital rape, familial rape, victim abuse and sexual exploitation of female children are very common.

Kahaani 2, a movie that I watched recently, left a resonating impact on the existence of child sexual harassment.

Okay, so what can we do about it?
Observe, lend an ear, question, report and repeat if nothing is done to stop it.

We often miss the simple signs that someone shows to express their grief.

It is okay to suspect a foul play. It is not okay to clear the suspect. As they say, there is no smoke without fire.

If you find someone constantly silent, overly angered at trivial issues, or struggles to express their wants, talk to them. Abuse can be nipped at the bud.

Accept victims of abuse. Someone who has just come out of trauma needs acceptance over prejudice and mock. It is NOT her fault that she was abused. Never be condescending.

-- Deeptha Sreedhar

About the author

Deeptha is a Journalist, currently working at Reuters. She hails from Chennai, hates being called a Madarasi, loves Road-travel, is a crime fiction fan, interacting with people from different walks of life, experimental cook who tries some vegetarian cuisine. She can be reached at sreedhar.deeptha@gmail.com

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Kitchen for Women, Office for Men

Contrary to the popular belief that women are the weaker section of the society, women are at an advantageous position than men. Why? Because they take the liberty of not working when they don't want to and wear the label of home makers.

Home making is an art. Agreed. But why is that the art is not passed on to men and only women are coronated with it? When we fight of equality, women too should come a step further to play equal roles because freedom without responsibility is like a cone without ice cream. 

No matter what, a man is forced to toil for his family and be the bread winner. When they can push themselves hard, why cannot we, as women who have the potential to move mountains, work too and prove ourselves equal before demanding an equal place with men?

This definitely does not mean that both the genders are same but no matter how different we are, we are equal in all aspects. Vice versa, when a man opts out of job, woman must share his burden and give him the freedom to be happy being what he is. And society? We form the society. So forget what others speak and make your voice heard.

A typical example of this load sharing are my parents where my mother worked and dad took care of the family. So, yes, such people exist. You just need to take the leap to bring the change. When men take over the kitchen, women should also take over the bread winning role and be the best half.

Ashamed of Being a Woman? You Deserve To Be

I have heard many girls wishing loudly that they were a boy. ‘What is so advantageous being a boy?’I ask. Some of the popular answers are - ‘I can go out for midnight ice creams,’ ‘I can have night outs and night stays at friends place,’ ‘ride a macho bike.’ I am surprised at how the society has privileged certain acts to one gender and plucked it away from the other. In fact, even liquor consumption is consecrated for men among many chauvinists.

But is the society responsible for all this? The deep truth is that NO. It is the inner voice that a woman silences within her that lets the so called society tax her. May be, if you can't speak for yourself, you don't deserve to even enjoy the pleasures that you long for.

If a country as big as India needed centuries of struggle to achieve freedom, a smaller crowd such as one specific gender alone in a country cannot afford to stay silent and yet long for freedom.

A woman with self esteem has ideas and values for self. Even when the people around are trying to pull her down, she elevates with her grit. She does not consider herself any less to others and dares to be different and fight for what she knows is right.

I have seen many places where a woman is portrayed stoical and mother of burden. This image irritates me because being a woman is a lot more delightful than the dark portrayal. Struggles do not demean womanhood even a grain size because as we think, we are not the only people on earth who are struggling for our rightful place. Even men have problems although theirs is different from ours.

So the next time you wish you were a man, be careful what you wish for coz maybe it might come true with a transgender formation! (kidding). And yes, transgenders too are in no way less to men and women if they behave normally.

Be the change you want to see and do the things that you wish were done for your own welfare. Stop complaining and start acting and living. After all it is one life and it is going to be worth all your efforts when it is utilized for a good cause like gender equality.