Obupriya

So I thought and thought what I could write for O. Obupriya is the unique name that I bumped upon in the group members list. Confession – I don’t know her at all. Addition – Would love to know. So what am I doing here? Well, I thought I could actually write a memory I had of a person with a similar name.

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Her name was Priya. She was my neighbourhood friend during my pre-primary days. We’d play kitchen games, chopping wax and in melted wax and watch our all-time favourite Popoye, The Sailor Man together because back then, we did not have cable connection during its inception. When I was born, we had a black and white TV with just two channels until years later the magical colour TV with umpteen channels arrived. My mom was best at giving nick names to my acquaintances. She even named one of my teachers Miss Kutts after she gave me a blow on my head. Kutt in Tamizh meant the percussion blow with knuckles. The teacher's original name was angela but she always beat up children like Devila and I loved how my mom named her for good. And another teacher always screwed children's ears. Her real name was Shravana and my mom named her Ravanan. She really was one I swear!

Coming back to our Priya, mom named her Opriya due to some famous song in her time that started with the line “Oh Priya Priya” and I blindly believed that her name was Opriya for many years. Thank you Obupriya for bringing up this colourful memory from inside me with just the sight of your profile name J Happy to have you on MSW!

Nimisha

One of the few members who weren’t associated with my other friend groups that I met personally was Nimisha. We met at a restaurant during one of my most outrageous days. Having worked less than a month in an organization, I realized that it wasn’t the right place for me immediately after I signed the appointment letter. I quit without delay and the first thing I did after quitting was to meet Nimisha. That, I call serendipity. Just like heroes have opening scenes, this was the opening scene of my heroine.

I had arrived early. She came a little later and out of my toppling thoughts, I easily blurted to her how quick I can judge people. And she asked – “Right now what are you judging about me?” I reserved my comments for her question.

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We had more occasions to bond as we intended to. She came over to my place first. Dressed up in extraordinarily ordinary salwar kameez, I could easily get her home without feeling the need to dress up for an outsider. I cooked her lunch and to a few places nearby when I was home-alone. On another occasion I dined with her Kerala style food preparations. I wanted to have my usual dose of coconut water and we got out. It was that day when I got to catch what a bold lady this doll could be. The shopkeeper cut a small sized coconut and charged a bomb. There were other big and fertile coconuts too. But he chose to do this. I handed him a lesser amount for his betray and he swore at me. While I don’t extend a fist fight at vendors, Nimisha cut through our conversation. She met him in his eye and asked, “Yes? How do we look? Please tell us.” I thought she was kidding me. But she stood and challenged him until he had to apologize for his misbehavior. “If someone looks gullible, you get to swear at them is it?” she asked. That day I learnt how one confident move can rewrite an entire story.

That wasn’t it. That evening we also dined at Berry’d Alive, the amazing café Nikhil, her husband co-founded. Nikhil was another beautiful soul. His management techniques wowed me, which I later got to feature in a magazine. Nimisha and I have had more such special moments and she always has been a complete package of goodness. I’m glad to destiny for bringing us together adding her on MSW.

Manimegalai

Pothi pothi vecha ponnu megala, adhiku inum vekkam vitu pogala. She is my Manimegalai, who expresses her different thoughts outspoken and daringly. Although we haven’t conversed much directly, she also went on to become one of MSW’s moderators. Patience, individuality and amiability filled girl, thank you for being a part of MSW <3

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Lakshmi

Do you know the life of hedgerows? Always present, spread love but less popular. You cannot do without them in empty places and yet they aren’t spoken about. Lakshmi is that hedgerow.

Moderators for MSW are either picked based on their credibility on group or referred by someone credible. Lakshmi was of the latter category as she does not post much. The other moderator who referred her became inactive after a short while. But Lakshmi stayed on for years.

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She diligently verified and added member requests but never once has sought any benefit from the group. She is the first one to respond to group administration needs and is like the redolent flower. Whenever I think of MSW moderators, Lakshmi comes as a lotus flower memory with some imaginary fragrance.

There were difficult times too. There was a time when thousands of member requests were pending and Lakshmi had to step up. But in the move, accidentally 3500 requests got bulk rejected. That was indeed a costly accident as people are our treasure on group. However, it was also understandable that it was an accident and we moved on from that incident.

Till date, Lakshmi continues to be the indispensable hedgerow of MSW, never coming to the front seeking fame but passionately helping the group to grow by being a backbone. Thank you Lakshmi for being you. :) 

Kripasri

A beam of sunshine is what I can think of when I remember Kripasri. Filled with positive energy and fondness for me, Kripa is a kind friend from MSW. She was one of our moderators too once and had actively involved in the group life, as I can call it. We have always had seasonal and off-season activities going on the group. And they all had a hashtag for easy identification.

I still remember the day Kripa posted something motivational she wanted to share on the group on her own timeline with the MSW tag. We were all so deeply involved that MSW was a lifestyle during group activities. Good things should have a jinx to be good right?

Some members Kripa had added on the group lacked sufficient credentials and work was getting overwhelming for her already as she was busy with her personal life. I had pinged to check with her if she needed a break. But even before I could ask, she immediately offered to break from moderation, with still overflowing love for me from her heart.
I later published her trying to conceive story  when she delivered her beautiful twins and she cared enough to text back even during those precious times in her life. A beam of sunshine she always was and is.

Janani

My sweet junior from office. Very young, vibrant and enthusiastic she was when I met her for the first time. Fresh out of college, married and into work, innocence and confidence at the same time would ooze out of her face. She stayed for a very short while and departed. We have never connected on phone until very recently re-united on MSW.

While I am having work under progress building whatsapp groups for areas, she pinged me to check to get added in the group in her area. And she became it’s moderator too. Still sweet, still active, Janani has marked her space as a Superwoman on the group too.

Here’s sending you cheers from #AtoZChallenge Janani for being you :)

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Indhu

Indhumathy is her name. It made her unique because her profile name was in Tamil script making life difficult for people who used English alphabets on search to get her! :D

There was a phase of my life when I was possessed. Possessed by a maddening manager who gave me elixir. She would extend friendship and then treat me like a stranger that if I consume even a drop more of that elixir in her form, it poisoned me. I was isolating myself from the world, disinterested in anyone but her.

During the process, I had converted into an exceedingly formal personality. That was the time I used to simply focus on solutions to problems and acted like a robot executing them. There was one thing missing in my life – humanly connection.

Entangled in life as a boss lady, that’s when this member addressed me as “akka” (elder sister) in her posts. She not just did that but deeply, passionately and genuinely emphasized it. Although I felt it as a light vein breeze blowing, she became a member I could easily recollect and smile when I needed. As a single daughter, I have yearned for siblings but easily rejected those who didn’t mean it. Indhu’s call struck my chord and lighted my spirits. Here’s showing my gratitude to this sister on #AtoZChallenge. Love you sister!

Harini

Harini – a sweet Indian name I gave to one of my pot plants once. I had instantly fallen in love with the name when actress Genelia sported the name in one of herb classic movies Boys. And that is the name of this member too. A lawyer by profession, she wasn’t very active on the group per se. Nevertheless, I had written on her C-section crusade for www.wedwits.com and we were acquainted even well before that.

There was a phase of my life where I had to tackle multiple difficulties in one go. That’s when I reached out to Harini for legal help. There was a hypersensitive moron from a cooking group who tried to use his non-existential brain to pull others legs. How can anyone use a brain that didn’t exist in the first place? We had to answer that by simply showing him a mirror to see for himself.

He had not only eavesdropped a conversation on Married Superwomen, but also gained the balls to post a screenshot of it in another private group with his infamous useless chats hashtag. The funny startling part though was he also gained additional balls to send it out as a legal notice for having replied to his nonsense through a group post.

And, there were also a set of people who wooed me to ‘apologize’ to him because he was feeling very jobless and caught in his own bullshit. Even though I was going through a personal turbulence, I didn’t want to feed his hunger for popularity lust.

There came Harini to show him his place. Some of the things she pointed was, “How can a man eavesdrop into a woman’s private group, screenshot it and harass them?” I wished some people had at least the basic common sense that Harini has. She stood as a backbone squashing the brainless guy’s itch for preying at others due to his joblessness. Harini became an unforgettable person in my life since then. Not just because she readied the sensible legal notice but also because she possessed enough common sense than shying away asking a woman to “ignore” when she had to fight.

Friends are like the breeze. You don’t see it every day. But it gets into the right respiratory pipe just when you need it. Just like Harini was to me.

Gayathri

Gayathri, the person from MSW with a common Indian name. But being common is being included, you are already validated as one among everyone, isn’t it?

Gayathri and I got to know each other through her insurance related query. Since it was a generic question, I had connected her with my mom who was a financial consultant. No vested interests, she pinged back to thank and added me. But one line that she asked froze me momentarily. “Thanks Malu.. Can I call you so?” she asked.

It liquified my already molten heart. Déjà vu I had. Spinning back flash memory, I had just been struggling out of an abusive, toxic friendship. And I was there, just out of it, able to see with clear vision how someone else treated me like a diva. I couldn’t tell her that. I had a storm waiting to get out and I will never be able to put that crisp to express my Déjà vu. But today, on #AtoZChallenge, through this post, I want to tell her how truly thankful I am for having shown me a mirror where I looked beautiful even fresh out of my emotionally abused state.

People say that the good things you do comes back to you in unexpected ways. Gayathri was that timely good thing I needed during my mental trauma.

Farida

Farida – that is her name. Simple and sweet. A home bird who is concerned about her child all the time and loves her family. Be it the way she confides her secrets through anon posts or seeks out help for any remedies, she does it genuinely. 

She heartily takes part in the group and its been like a family being with her on group through her good and bad times. 

Some people are like the breeze. You don’t have to see them literally to know them. You come across them but even without having had a personal relationship, you feel connected with them like your own. Farida is one such, MSW’s own sister.

Evangeline

Mother of two girl babies and a makeup artist by profession, Evangeline was my facebook friend I knew nothing about except one thing. She was the only person on my facebook friend list from MSW with name starting in ‘E’. This has to be special right? So was she. Amicable since the time I added her, willing to mingle and friendly.

Confession – I don’t know her yet. But I know she is yet another member earned for MSW. Thank you for helping me through this #AtoZ challenge ^_^

Dhivya

Art is an esoteric arena. Only those who are passionate about it can create magic with creativity. That magic happened in my life when I most wanted it. And it was called Dhivya.

I’m a writer and my childhood fantasy, dream and goal was to become an author. I have planned writing books but it did not happen. But one November, when I casually bumped into a writer’s challenge, I miraculously got out 50k words done in a month as per the challenge. What started as an experiment, now had a form. And that form was my autobiography. It was dark and full of personal stories.

I wanted to thus print personal copies but I wanted a good cover page. I checked with a few artists who did not do justice to my requirement. I had enquired about the same on Married Superwomen. Days later, I got a ping from a pregnant woman. I described two lines of my book and forgot about it, considering that getting the right design is going to be difficult than I thought.

The next day, I got another ping. And, I was surprised? No, shell shocked. What happened? I saw myself, a reflection of my soul on the messenger. Not an existing drawing or any spoon-fed described art but a creatively verbatim picturesque of my autobiography. Dhivya had pulled off what I verbalized in art and it was the face of my soul!

Having seen the rough draft, I immediately signed up for the fair copy and agreed to pay for it. Doing this for the first time, Dhivya drew the fair copy for me multiple times after me making changes every single time and finally had to say, “I cant do more than this, my back is aching during pregnancy.” “My goodness, I’m so sorry, please don’t do further, I’ll buy this,” was what I told when I knew what I was asking. But that art was magical. Nobody but her could’ve done that!

This lady went on to become my friend, being connected with me since then. She knows she is amazing. But writing about her here will imprint her amazingness. Thus goes my tribute for her on this #AtoZ.

Chitra

Only darkness can make you appreciate light. And that light is Chitra. A positivity generator, she used to post positive quotes every single day without fail. Since Married Superwomen was exclusive for married women, I created a separate group for senior citizens called Senior Superstars. Chitra’s positivity ball rolled for months together with her posts there too. Everyday members woke up to see her post first on the groups. She made heads swoon at her and attracted people for a positivity connect.

The person who gives out maximum positivity is the one who really needs it internally. But when people look unto someone for motivation, it is socially difficult for that person to admit when she feels low and seek help. There are more judgemental people who can crush you with insensitive comments than those readily willing to help without questions. Been there, done that. And Chitra was one among that lot of us and we were a safe haven to confide in each other. Today, she doesn’t post anymore. Some of us remember her and enquire but Chitra has refrained from social media for personal reasons. We miss her. But this post is a gentle reminder to say that she has a virtual family Married Superwomen behind whenever she needs us.

Bhuvaneshwari

As beautiful as her name is her heart. This is how my attention turned towards her – A harmless funny post on the group and someone else tagged me to say, “Don’t encourage such type of posts.”

1. Everyone is on an equal pedestal on a group.

2. A group has pre-defined rules. Any glaring inappropriateness can be reported but she chose to be the moral police to say what others have to do in a rude way

I reviewed the post and explained that the post does not violate group rules or contain anything obnoxious but the latter chose to retaliate and leave. Bhuvana on the other hand poured back love on messenger in the negativity burnt hole and darned it.

And we had another issue coming up hot with regards to her. There were complaints that she was making frequent devotional posts. Again, that did not breach the group rules and it continued.

“Though sun or moon I cannot be to make the whole world bright. I’d find some little cheerless spot and shine with all my might” goes a hymn song and that star is Bhuvana.

Ashwini

This is nearly my 8th year into #AtoZ and for the first time, I am trying out doing a theme. This year my theme is married women. This is a tribute to the group Married Superwomen that I founded. I’ll be writing about one person each day as I haven’t spent much personal time with most of them or at least much time establishing how lovely each one have been. I would be using the first names alone and not use any personal photos in order to protect privacy. I'm keeping these descriptions minimalist as an overview without much detailing.

The first day of this beautiful start is special as always and this time, it is special on the theme as I’m writing about our very own moderator from MSW Ashwini.

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Human beings can be good or bad. But what they exhibit is what that substantiates than what lies under the tip of the iceberg. Ashwini has been an extrovert, displaying and sharing her repertoire and knowledge on social media groups whenever she finds an opportunity. While it is easy to fill the social media space with negativity and fakeness, Ashwini has always been real and authentic.

Her story on transformation from how she was called ugly to her image right now as a beauty pageant is memorable in my mind. Married Superwomen being a group that caters to acknowledge women’s talents and address their issues, Ashwini has fit in perfectly well as a god chosen moderator, taking keen interest in helping fellow women and engaging with them. Touchwood!